What I Did For Love

So last night I went shopping for school clothes. I broght the old man along because he's acctually really fun to shop with, and I have no money. Damn Winchester dress code. No jeans or t shirts or jackets or hoodies or flipflops or "cargo" pants/shorts (which btw is so hard to find because technically any pocket that is not on the hip or ass is a "cargo" pocket) no fun. So, it was all polos and cords and sweaters (i acctually bought a sweater vest)...(a green and yellow argyle sweater vest)...

But I'm quivering with anticipation for the new school year

Tonight was the party in honor of Alicia and Katie D. leaving for school. As you can imagine, it was tres chic. Feathers and sequins and boas and tons of cocaine and lots of dancing...not at all was it just a charming social gathering of some mutual friends in a living room, sharing stories and jokes, eating sandwhiches, watching old productions, being nostalgic and cosy and comfortable...no, never. it was more intoxicated orgy than any of that other stuff...

no it was splendid. i've decided that i'm going to be known for my parties in the future. Every party will have a theme, of course, because whats a party without a good theme.

We watched West Side Story, and it was hard to watch. First of all i was really disapointed in my performance. And i'm not convincing as a heterosexual. I don't know why I try. I have limp arms and a high voice and I'm tender and gentle and....just....not Tony. Secondly, I was HUGE. I mean I'm very aware that durring that period i had been stress eating and looked at myself in the backsatge pictures (which were all from the middle up) but watching myself like that I was just like.....ew, gross.

However, we then watched Grease from last summer. And i was alot thinner. And convincing as a heterosexual. Why? Well, i wasn't eating and dancing alot that summer. But as far as the acting. I wasn't gay. In the least. Why? Cause it was a character. I had a walk and a talk. And mannerisms. I was Roger. Nothing of myself. Tony, well, there was too much Connor. Well, literally, there was TOO much of my ass, but like, there was too much of myself in that character. I can completely assume a character like Roger, or The Wolf, or Cinderella's Prince, but what I need to work on is making my future non-character parts...well, characters. Does that make sense?

The party was fun. I realized that Grease was a wonderfull time. I was so...happy. Well, i was completely head over heels for Matt, but I was just, comfortable with the part. No struggling in the singing or anything. I had the chance to make my part the best I could. And I was in the imfamous clique. Oh, those summer nights.

I'm really against doing Les Mis at SPAA. I don't think we're ready for it. I mean, West Side was great. Amazing. That show is a MAJOR challenge, acting, singing, dancing. And we worked harder than we've ever worked before. And we accomplished a task. And it was amazing.

And then there was Into the Woods. Which we also worked hard on just as hard. But, we ... well, Into the Woods was a better quality show. We nearly perfected it. It isn't an easy show. But we ... i don't know. We really picked apart EVERY aspect of the show. And it became the best SPAA show we've ever done. That doesnt change how amazing West Side was. But Into the Woods was better.

However, that doesnt mean we can go and do any show we want. Les Mis is going to challenge us JUST as much as west side, if not even harder. No, it IS harder. I was in it. it was REALLY difficult. We don't have the money. And,w ell, we have the talent, for the most part, but like, if we did it, it would be good. but we would be struggling to make it good, like WSS. I would rather work on making a show almost perfect rather than just good.

Basically, I would rather do Aida than Les Mis. And you KNOW how against Aida I am...

Tomorrow is the Spotlight Open House. 1 to 4. And again on Sunday. And NEXT saturday and sunday. And you can bet I'll be there.

Pool party at Katie D's house tomorrow. At like 5.

I love my life at Spotlight. I love my friends. i love being loved. And i love Beth. In the relitavely short time i've known her (2 years this September) she has become and friend and a mother and one of my personal heroes. I can't imagine my life if I hadn't seen their ad in the newspaper for Into the Woods.

Too tired to edit this. Fuck spelling.

This wasnt a very good entry...